I have witnessed my share of showgirls, sword swallowers and sybaritic sirens; it’s coming up to 15 years since I co-founded the London performance night Duckie at the Vauxhall Tavern. I consider myself a seasoned performer and self-confirmed glamourpuss. Can Las Vegas, the showbiz capital of the world, teach me anything I don’t already know?

Choosing which shows to see can be as difficult as choosing the best dish at an all-you-can-eat buffet; all are tempting, and once you start, you just can’t stop. Luckily, my first night’s choice was not too hard; I have been a fan of Marie Osmond since, as a young girl, I first saw her on the Donny & Marie television show.

Marie has had her share of showbiz heartache over the years, but has always maintained her big hair and dazzling smile - what an inspiration. She has teamed up with her brother once again for a live revue show at the Flamingo. It is a riot of classic Osmonds tunes, Mowtown medleys and schmaltzy dance routines inspired by their appearances on America’s Dancing with the Stars. My friend Gerard and I found our hand clapping and swooning became more pronounced after we ordered Crazy Horses Margaritas, named after the Osmonds’ hit song, served in hot pink commemorative Donny & Marie glasses. “Don’t forget to take ‘em home with you, honey,” our waitress drawled.

The next morning at the Liberace Museum we saw more examples of Vegas glassware. The much loved entertainer, rest his soul, made Vegas his spiritual home and performed thousands of shows there until his death in 1987. The grey roadside shopping arcade that houses the museum looked disappointingly dull and dusty until I flung open the doors. Unfolding before me were hundreds of feathered costumes, crystal encrusted cars, sequined bowties and fine china modeled on Queen Elizabeth II’s dinner service, not to mention the largest rhinestone in the world. Liberace lived life large; each show averaged seven costume changes, something I’ve never even contemplated at Duckie.

All these sequins were pulling at my glamour heartstrings, and so when I was offered a showgirl make-over I didn’t hesitate to slap on the false eyelashes.

The gorgeous and charming Brooke Opheim is principal showgirl in Las Vegas’ longest running revue Jubilee!, and she kindly shared her beauty secrets with me. Jubilee! features 87 dancers, over 1,000 costumes and stages the sinking of the Titanic twice a night; the show recently celebrated its 17,000th performance.

Brooke also hosts backstage tours a few mornings a week in addition to her twice nightly shows; in the feather stuffed rooms lined with Bob Mackie designed costumes I confessed I was slightly worried that my size 18 physique wouldn’t fit the traditional showgirl mould.

“Don’t worry… Jubilee! is all about the natural beauty of the female form,” she explained. Wearing upwards of 35 lbs of costume twice a night means we have to be strong, but we have plenty of curves.” The show producers do not allow any kind of plastic surgery or breast enhancement. In a city full of silicone, Jubilee! gals are the real deal.

Brooke reassured me my facial features were showgirl perfect - “Nice strong brow, high cheekbones, beautiful big eyes… and most girls have to fake a cupid’s bow - yours is natural”, she exclaimed. She showed me how to bend my false eyelashes so they make my eyes appear larger on stage and drapes the hugest feather boa I’ve ever seen across my shoulders. Instantly, I feel more confident and sexy. A quick lesson in two stepping and pivot turn, and my transformation is complete. I have already used Brooke’s eyeshadow application tips for my appearances at Duckie, and she has inspired my quickly growing addiction to false eyelashes.

From glitter to Scousers and Cirque du Soleil’s biggest Vegas hit LOVE, set in the sequin-free realm of post-war Liverpool. But let’s face it, when you have the Beatles, do you really need feathers and rhinestones? The show is gloriously set in the round and audience seats have speakers embedded in the headrests. When voice clips of John, Paul, Ringo & George were played, I felt like the Fab Four were whispering sweet nothings in my ears.

The show is full of acrobatics, quirky contraptions and absurdist costumes. How did they manage the tandem rollerblade routine in fuzzy snowboots? What genius dreamt up seesawing hippies and pursuing policemen clinging to the top of a red telephone booth? I’m not sure it is something I could recreate at the Vauxhall Tavern, but I’m willing to risk a twisted ankle and give it a try.

We were delighted to be invited to the cast after show party where I met the super talented Nathan Cooper one of the LOVE performers. I wanted to know if it was ALL glitz and glamour in Las Vegas, with millions of dollars pumped into every production and ticket prices hovering around the hundred dollar mark. In between drinks and nibbles I asked Nathan if Las Vegas had an alternative performance scene, similar to the edgy cabaret on show in London.

“Life for performers in Vegas is great”, he said. “But there’s little experimental cabaret going on because performers in the big shows are for the most part highly valued and paid well.” And, he explained the tourist trade wouldn’t necessarily support such a scene, so audiences would consist mainly of other Vegas show people. So while I was hoping to discover some hot solo performers, it became clear they are all happily hula hooping and backflipping in the big mainstream shows, collecting their regular paychecks and enjoying company sponsored healthcare and pension schemes.

So no underground edge, but with my new-found showgirl skills you just might see me on stage in Jubilee! yet.

Le Rêve A jaw dropping underwater extravaganza full of “How did they do that?!” moments. Created by a former artistic director of Cirque du Soleil, it’s chock full of acrobatic hi jinks, sexy dancing and a humorous high kicking routine with dozens of legs shod in red high heels emerging from the water. Shows 7 & 9:30, Sun-Tues & Fri-Sat Tickets from $99. www.wynn.com

Show Recommendations:

Donnie & Marie whack out the hits in their first resident Las Vegas show in 29 years at the Flamingo. Show at 7:30, Tues-Sat tickets from $90 www.flamingolasvegas.com

LOVE Cirque du Soleil’s acrobatic extravaganza performed to the backdrop of the music of The Beatles. Shows 7 & 9:30 Thurs-Mon, tickets from $99. www.mirage.com

and do not miss the Liberace Museum on Liberace Plaza, 1775 E. Tropicana Avenue Open Monday -Saturday 10- 5 Sun Noon-4. Admission $15 adults, $10 seniors. Children under 10 free.Admission includes a free and optional one hour guided tour on Monday - Saturday at 11:00am or 2:00pm; Sunday 1:00pm. www.liberace.org

For more information go to Visit Las Vegas.